Pyrates of the Coast

The Crewe

Active Crewe

These crewe members are ready to set sail, whether you need pirate entertainers in the Pacific Northwest or anywhere in the United States or the world. Like most adventurers, our crewe comes from all over the world and can join up to create an event for you that is simply amazing!



Tenor Guitar, Banjo and Lead Vocalist in Knot for Sail

The son of a handsome sea captain and homely native girl, Hurricane was born on the exotic isle of Bora Bora. He is all at sea when it comes to things nautical. When on land, Hurricane could at one time be a Cat 5 of Emotional Wreckage and Human Debris; a real tempest when crossed. But these days he’s more of a windbag. He is a lover of wine, woman and song – in any combination. He serves as Captain of The Blackheart, a brigantine hailing from Port Royal, Jamaica. He served briefly under Admiral Henry Morgan and served as his stunt double at the battles of Portobello and Panama.

Krimson Kat

Vocalist, Tenor Ukelele in Knot for Sail

Swathed in seaweed, Krimson Kat was discovered by a Greek fisherman in a Catalina Island catacomb who raised her as his own. Conceived in a tryst between a merchant marine and a beguiling mermaid while he was on shore leave, she learned the Catechism from some island Catholic nuns at the Catalina Cathedral, at one time considering joining the holy order. But the sisters proved a bit too catty for her tastes. Seeking a life of adventure, she signed aboard The Blackheart after falling in love with its Captain. Aboard ship, she is charged with whipping the crewe into shape with her cat o’ nine, keeping them from taking catnaps, using the surgeon’s catguts to play Cat’s Cradle, baiting stray cats, and caterwauling about the cook’s Catfish Catsup Surprise.


Six- and 12-String Guitar in Knot for Sail

Crazed by the tepid heat of the tropics, Animal was found adrift in a little dinghy off the coast of Cayman. After drinking The Blackheart dry of its supply of fine and not so fine rums, he became lucid once again and recounted the unbelievable tale of his marooning and subsequent travails. We all thought him to be a quite jolly lad but a little dingy (not dinghy). So we chained him to the capstan in case he had another bout of the horrors.

Sloe Gin

Vocalist and Noisy Things in Knot for Sail

Hurricane and crewe stumbled upon Sloe Gin in a piano bar deep in the Tropics many years ago. In a seedy hotel bar on the outskirts of Borneo, they found her singing gin and slinging songs. It was obvious that she had been sampling her own stash for some time. Sailors from near and far would come to hear her torchy, sultry songs, she using her beguiling charm, flirtatious demeanor and mastery of the male mind to disarm them of their weapons and money, but not necessarily at the same time. Always leaving men wanting more, she is the reason sailors to this day say “Well, shiver me timbers.”

Lickety Split

Mandolin, Vocals in Knot for Sail

If you wonder how Lickety Split got his name, take him in tow once in awhile. You’ll soon find him off, hither, thither and yon, continually distracted by his surroundings and often getting him and us lost in the process. We regularly send search parties out to find him who never return, largely because they’re either having more fun with him than us or they found a karaoke bar nearby. Sounds like a flip of the coin – heads or tails. He was once our Navigator, but we never got anywhere, hence his new found roleas Ship’s Nevergator.

Sting Ray


Gentleman pirate and a gentleman to boot, Stingray prefers to charm, negotiate, manipulate or intimidate rather than go straight to a fight. As the illegitimate son of King Orange of Wales, he was not to inherit the crown and at a tender age he was instead sold into servitude aboard a galleon as a cabin boy. It was there that he spent his youth upon the sea, learning of the world. But when his mates went ashore it was all about the women (a trait inherited from dad along with his taste for the finer things in life). That was his life until he was taken by our ship and allowed to sign on with the crewe. He quickly worked his way up in the ranks. Currently, Stingray is charged with disabling the rudder chains of ships we seize, and that’s how he got his name, swimming under water for long periods to do the duty. His lineage gave him the moniker Prince of the Pirates, but we all think he is a prince among men.



Sharkbyte earned his name when he took on a huge tiger shark in the Caribbean Sea. Thinking he (the shark) was about to have a nice snack (Sharkbyte), a bloody ruckus ensued. Sharkbyte got the best of him (the shark), taking a large bit out of his nose, sending the fierce beast to Davey Jones’ Locker. Hearing this, the French began to refer to him as Sharkbyte LePirate, even though he is not French (though he likes their fries). He’s a bit of a Robin Hood of the Seven Seas, so you need not fear him should you cross paths, unless you’re laden with gold and riches, mind you.

On the Lam

Some of our members are running from the law, ex-wives, or have sold out and are working for the King’s shilling. They occasionally join us when the event is large enough to pull them away from their paltry living as a legitimate(?) member of society.

Sir Nigel

Occasional Lead Guitarist with Knot for Sail

The eldest son of an English gentleman and a handmaiden, Sir Nigel recently took some time to Sea the World (pun intended). He has served admirably in the “sweet” trade most of his life, notably on the island of Zanzibar, living amongst the Zanzibar. A talented musician and artiste, a lover of dancing and (s)wordplay, a smuggler as well as a snuggler, he has cast his lot with the nefarious band of pirates aboard The Blackheart. He was last sighted trying to earn a landlubber living in Colorado.

Criss Cross


Let’s be honest, not a single member of the crewe knows how to hunt or catch fish. Thankfully, we have our own ship’s lure aboard, Criss Cross, Sadly, the crewe is still starving, for her bait only seems to work its magic on landlubbers who fall for her, hook, line and sinker. It’s never hard to find where she has gone ashore, for the path is lined with cross-eyed men who had the good fortune to cast their eyes upon her gleaming eyes, sharp wit and ample, god-given treasure amidships. She is the only member of the crewe with a real sailing vessel, and rumor has it she actually owns it. What a novel concept! Criss Cross has been sighted last in Arizona, looking for a sailboat bound for the Pacific Northwest.



No, it’s not a typo. It’s so easy to be a fighter when you’re a pirate, but occasionally a little lovin’ gets you farther faster. That’s when we get a little Ugly ’round here, turning him loose to loosen up the townsfolk, namely the women. Once properly distracted by his beguiling charm as the Ship’s Amour, we hightail it to the local counting houses to make a little unscheduled withdrawal. In the meantime, Ugly will have made love not war with the women folk, breaking their hearts while we make a break for it.



Shipwreck was shanghaied by the Captain while on a midnight stroll in Bristol and pressed aboard The Blackheart. A good thing too, because the crewe’s legendary lack of seamanship has required several incarnations of The Blackheart to be built over the years. After shredding the bottom on a well-known reef and sinking (again!), Shipwreck goes right to work without complaint.When the crewe awakes the next morning, there she is, a brand new brigantine floating in the bay. Amazing what a talented shipwright can do with coconut husks, palm fronds, spackle and a few drink umbrellas.

Lady Scarlett


Lady Scarlett hails from Tortuga. It was there that the crewe of The Blackheart found her, skimming “profits” off the top at a counting house of questionable repute. Appreciating her fine ciphering skills, she was pressed into service aboard ship, largely because most of the crewe couldn’t count beyond 20. She readily took to the sea and to the task at hand, counting doubloons by day and serving as the ship’s dance instructor by night, teaching the crewe how to dance a most lively jig, one that ashore would jostle the coins from the pockets of unsuspecting landlubbers, much to Lady Scarlett’s delight and benefit.

At Heaven’s Bar

Some of our crewe is no longer with us, choosing instead to get a head start at sucking up the bar in heaven, or, in the case of one, whatever drops on the floor. We miss them all and hope one day, we’ll meet again, if there’s any rum left.


Baritone Ukelele and Vocals with Knot for Sail

Hailing from Belfast, Water Rat was pressed into service aboard the The Blackheart after he was captured in a battle with the sloop, Irish Rover. Promoted from chief bilge bailer, Water Rat has worked his way up to first mate and chief musician. A wily rogue of a pirate, his spry wit, boundless puns and musical numbers keep the crewe entertained during the long months at sea. He has been with the crewe for an astonishing 30 years – no one has put up with the Captain that long!!!!

The Big Mook


The Big Mook was aboard The Blackheart for 13 years and we never gave him his just due. We began to take his protests seriously when he saluted the captain one day with a hiked leg. To keep him at happy, we promoted him to Poop Deck Officer. He’s was in charge of “bay”-ling out the bilge (Beagle humor), sprayin’ down the decks and taking over the storm watch when things get a little ruff. He was one tough old salt and the official mascot of The Blackheart. He passed bravely after those many years and we honor him each year by serving the crewe his leftover biscuits.


(425) 280-3792


Lat: 47.823952
Long: - 122.292419


Puget Sound, Washington State